Thanks to the pandemic, a huge backlog has been created for funeral homes and crematorium.
Mom died on May 4th; however, her cremation was scheduled for May 15th. I have no knowledge on whether it went according to schedule or not.
I was not in charge of the arrangements. Had I been included or involved, I would have had the remains FedEx'd to me, and we could make arrangements according to our own timetable, and have a proper funeral when it is safe to do so.
Instead, the remains will be sent to the church where dad's remains are interred at the memorial garden there. As soon as the remains are received, there will be a burial with not more than 10 people in attendance. There will be no funeral in the church. Perhaps something religious will be done when we bury the box of remains.
The idea of a repast afterwards is out of the question as well, as we all will still be social distancing at that point. The virus hasn't just DISAPPEARED. It's still out there lurking for all of us.
I am hoping that as the date comes closer, and if the weather will allow it, I will buy a bunch of sub sandwiches, and perhaps we can go to a park nearby and have a picnic. But that's a big perhaps.
I believe my mother's death is enough to have fractured my family. I have received condolences from a couple first cousins of mom's; however, none of MY first cousins, my more immediate relations, have bothered to extend condolences. Not one single card has been received from them. Not even a text or an email or a call.
Maharajah's office sent us a lovely bouquet and a gift certificate for food delivery; and another friend from his office sent us another bouquet; and our dear friends sent us a gift basket of snacks. Whereas my office hasn't done anything. No card. No flowers. A couple people who are close to me called and texted, and two dear friends on their own sent me candies and a gift certificate, but the powers that be at the office have done nothing. So it's all been quite informative. But that's okay--at least the management is consistent.
Even a person with whom I cultivated a friendship with for 17 years, or who I considered a friend, who this time last year let me know she's really not a good friend for saying some shit to me that was oh-so-familiar to me, the type of shit my mother would say. I injured myself very badly, and here it is a year later, and I am still not 100% recovered from it--and it is doubtful I'll ever get back to 100%, she said, "At least your husband took you on vacation." She later on let it be known she's jealous of me, so that was sadly informative too.
This person left a voicemail for me--and of course, if there's one person in the world that I do not feel like being vulnerable around, it's this person. In the body of her voicemail she said something to the effect of, "regardless of what happened, she's still your mother." As if I need someone to police my emotions--I've had a lifetime of that very thing. I sent her a terse text, "Thanks for the call, I don't feel like talking about it."
Mom died on May 4th; however, her cremation was scheduled for May 15th. I have no knowledge on whether it went according to schedule or not.
I was not in charge of the arrangements. Had I been included or involved, I would have had the remains FedEx'd to me, and we could make arrangements according to our own timetable, and have a proper funeral when it is safe to do so.
Instead, the remains will be sent to the church where dad's remains are interred at the memorial garden there. As soon as the remains are received, there will be a burial with not more than 10 people in attendance. There will be no funeral in the church. Perhaps something religious will be done when we bury the box of remains.
The idea of a repast afterwards is out of the question as well, as we all will still be social distancing at that point. The virus hasn't just DISAPPEARED. It's still out there lurking for all of us.
I am hoping that as the date comes closer, and if the weather will allow it, I will buy a bunch of sub sandwiches, and perhaps we can go to a park nearby and have a picnic. But that's a big perhaps.
I believe my mother's death is enough to have fractured my family. I have received condolences from a couple first cousins of mom's; however, none of MY first cousins, my more immediate relations, have bothered to extend condolences. Not one single card has been received from them. Not even a text or an email or a call.
Maharajah's office sent us a lovely bouquet and a gift certificate for food delivery; and another friend from his office sent us another bouquet; and our dear friends sent us a gift basket of snacks. Whereas my office hasn't done anything. No card. No flowers. A couple people who are close to me called and texted, and two dear friends on their own sent me candies and a gift certificate, but the powers that be at the office have done nothing. So it's all been quite informative. But that's okay--at least the management is consistent.
Even a person with whom I cultivated a friendship with for 17 years, or who I considered a friend, who this time last year let me know she's really not a good friend for saying some shit to me that was oh-so-familiar to me, the type of shit my mother would say. I injured myself very badly, and here it is a year later, and I am still not 100% recovered from it--and it is doubtful I'll ever get back to 100%, she said, "At least your husband took you on vacation." She later on let it be known she's jealous of me, so that was sadly informative too.
This person left a voicemail for me--and of course, if there's one person in the world that I do not feel like being vulnerable around, it's this person. In the body of her voicemail she said something to the effect of, "regardless of what happened, she's still your mother." As if I need someone to police my emotions--I've had a lifetime of that very thing. I sent her a terse text, "Thanks for the call, I don't feel like talking about it."
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