End of an era. And I am a hateful enough of a person to wonder why it didn't happen sooner, perhaps 20 years ago, but the YentaBeast, the wife or exwife or whatever she was to my brother, she passed away yesterday.
Though her passing at age 49 was not a surprise, the cause of death was the surprise. She died of cancer; however, she suffered from neurofibromatosis all her life, and trust me when I say that the physical manifestation of those fibromas were the least unattractive thing about her.
She just was an awful contrary person to be around, and so much so, it made me cut back on attending more family gatherings when dad was alive--and after dad died, I cut back even more. I missed out on a lot of experiences because of her, and of course, because of my lack of conflict resolution skills to navigate that mess. The solitary nice thing I can say about her is that she made a delicious noodle kugel.
I struggle to find anything nice to say about her, she truly was a challenging person to be around. She and my brother communicated by bickering every chance they got. She ruined most family gatherings. And most family gatherings were punctuated by mom having a trip to the ER the day after due to cardiac issues brought on by undue stress.
She'd grouse about every damned thing, and she'd try to find ways to attempt to extract money from us, then acted like we all were beneath her. But whatever, she's dead now, and the damage is done. She was just as bad as my mom, doing the "divide and conquer" routine, just as mom did to us regarding dad's family.
My niece informed my brother (her father) he was not welcome at the funeral, so by extension, none of us were welcome. My niece is now 18 and can do as she wishes, and I suspect she'll trot off to Florida to be close to her maternal grandmother and just forget about the rest of us. As my dad used to say, "Don't go away mad--JUST GO AWAY."
It's just as well. And while I don't know the intimate details of what it was like to live in a house with my brother and her mother, I can imagine it was similar to my own upbringing, and I can understand, probably better than others, her need to insulate and protect herself. And part of me is relieved YentaBeast is gone. One less person to attempt to make a claim on my estate when I die.
In all likelihood I would not have attended the funeral; however, if I were to have attended it would have been for my own selfish reason: to ensure that she was, in fact, dead, and unable to hurt her daughter and my brother any further.
