Friday, April 27, 2018
Thursday, April 26, 2018
FOUR
See also: Post-Paschal Post.
Out of the blue I received a text from my aunt (aka mom's flying monkey) asking ABOUT THOSE FUCKING BOOKS.
So, on top of leaving me THREE voicemails about these fucking books she's demanding I find for her, she's now recruited my aunt to reach out to me.
I kept my replies super brief to my aunt and didn't add anything else to it.
For someone who thinks she's so self-aware, she certainly makes herself available to be manipulated by my mother.
FUCK THEM ALL.
PS: I have been reading up on Reactive Attachment Disorder--and my god. Maybe I have it? Maybe my mother, and me and my siblings have certain stripes of this disorder?
Out of the blue I received a text from my aunt (aka mom's flying monkey) asking ABOUT THOSE FUCKING BOOKS.
So, on top of leaving me THREE voicemails about these fucking books she's demanding I find for her, she's now recruited my aunt to reach out to me.
I kept my replies super brief to my aunt and didn't add anything else to it.
For someone who thinks she's so self-aware, she certainly makes herself available to be manipulated by my mother.
FUCK THEM ALL.
PS: I have been reading up on Reactive Attachment Disorder--and my god. Maybe I have it? Maybe my mother, and me and my siblings have certain stripes of this disorder?
Tuesday, April 24, 2018
Almost Forgot
Audrey's house still isn't sold yet, we're now waiting for the C.O.
By the time the deed is finally transferred, Shady Pines will have absorbed it all. And with her pension and Social Security now in a trust account, that's the end of the line.
She's still demanding and bossing everyone around, not realizing very soon, she will become what I will call "indigent adjacent." Sure, her basic needs of a roof and sustenance will be met, but beyond that, there isn't a quality of life. And if she's got to suffer, then the rest of us will, too, in one form or another.
Fuck her.
By the time the deed is finally transferred, Shady Pines will have absorbed it all. And with her pension and Social Security now in a trust account, that's the end of the line.
She's still demanding and bossing everyone around, not realizing very soon, she will become what I will call "indigent adjacent." Sure, her basic needs of a roof and sustenance will be met, but beyond that, there isn't a quality of life. And if she's got to suffer, then the rest of us will, too, in one form or another.
Fuck her.
Post-Paschal Post
I sent Audrey a card on Wednesday, which she received either Good Friday or Saturday.
Easter came and went and she didn't bother to call me.
The following week, I started my spring cleaning and found three bags of sugar free candy, so I mailed them off to her. THAT, of course, elicited a call of thanks. Of course, because I DID SOMETHING FOR HER.
Last week was about the fourth week after Easter, and it took her THAT long to get around to calling me, and not to say she missed me or that she was worried (as normal mothers would), but that she wanted me to DO SOMETHING FOR HER. See? I only exist when she wants me to exist.
Anyway, she left a voicemail on my phone at work, slurred speech and all, and I somehow deciphered the books she wanted me to get from paperback swap, and I ordered them, and I thought my participation here was done. OH NO! It's never that easy.
The next day I got YET ANOTHER voicemail asking if I got the first message (YES DUMB ASS). And the following day I got ONE MORE voicemail, this time on the house phone. All of these calls I have not managed to call her back, because, well, FUCK HER.
And here we are, about two weeks away from my least favorite holiday, and I had a fucking epiphany yesterday. I decided when I go out to find my pink unicorn, in this case, the most neutral, most impersonal mother's day card I can find, I will buy about 5 of them, so then for subsequent years, I don't have to go through this bullshit anymore.
There's no way to figure out the correct # of cards to buy. If I buy 5, she'll probably die next year, and if I buy 10, she'll die 11 years from now. So I can't win for losing. But I am tired of this bullshit holiday. Resent it, even! But I think buying the cards in bulk is a brilliant idea, and one I am embarrassed to say that it's taken me THIS LONG to figure this out.
Easter came and went and she didn't bother to call me.
The following week, I started my spring cleaning and found three bags of sugar free candy, so I mailed them off to her. THAT, of course, elicited a call of thanks. Of course, because I DID SOMETHING FOR HER.
Last week was about the fourth week after Easter, and it took her THAT long to get around to calling me, and not to say she missed me or that she was worried (as normal mothers would), but that she wanted me to DO SOMETHING FOR HER. See? I only exist when she wants me to exist.
Anyway, she left a voicemail on my phone at work, slurred speech and all, and I somehow deciphered the books she wanted me to get from paperback swap, and I ordered them, and I thought my participation here was done. OH NO! It's never that easy.
The next day I got YET ANOTHER voicemail asking if I got the first message (YES DUMB ASS). And the following day I got ONE MORE voicemail, this time on the house phone. All of these calls I have not managed to call her back, because, well, FUCK HER.
And here we are, about two weeks away from my least favorite holiday, and I had a fucking epiphany yesterday. I decided when I go out to find my pink unicorn, in this case, the most neutral, most impersonal mother's day card I can find, I will buy about 5 of them, so then for subsequent years, I don't have to go through this bullshit anymore.
There's no way to figure out the correct # of cards to buy. If I buy 5, she'll probably die next year, and if I buy 10, she'll die 11 years from now. So I can't win for losing. But I am tired of this bullshit holiday. Resent it, even! But I think buying the cards in bulk is a brilliant idea, and one I am embarrassed to say that it's taken me THIS LONG to figure this out.
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