Where we left off:
My sister's boss is buying mom's house and will be renting the house to our brother, who will rent with option to buy until he reaches the age whereby he can own the house (retirement village).
Sis went to the house with someone who was there to give an estimate of the fair market value of the home. Sis walked in and the place was riddled with dog shit, and in the dining room were four truck tires stacked up (why not the garage? see previous posts about his hoarding). They then walked through the kitchen where, hanging on the pantry door, was what I will refer to as a "titty calendar" (the type mechanics get as promotionals from vendors they buy from regularly). They then went into his 10'x10' bedroom which is pretty much overwhelmed by the California King sized bed, and on each of the four walls is plastered enormous posters of JOAN COLLINS. (Now let that marinate in your membrane for half a beat--my brother flicks his bean to the image of Joan Collins.) And of course, strewn about are DVDs of porn.
I feel confident the porn and titty calendar all remain out in the open when my 12 year old niece is there on the weekends.
I feel confident that he makes no point of hiding any of these objectifying images, given that when dad was in the hospital for his mitral valve replacement, and the surgical liaison came out to let us know dad was taken off the heart-lung machine, our brother proceeded to show the surgical liaison, A FUCKING STRANGER TO US ALL, porn clips on his phone.
I do not have an open and communicative relationship with our brother. He doesn't reply to my texts when I send him something absurd (this is almost always a juicy, well-baited hook to get him to reply). He is fully ensconced in the denial stage he is in, in denial about his own contributions to how or why his marriage is in the shitter, and the how or why his daughter hates him.
I think of how hostile he is to every female--especially our sister who has valiantly gone above and beyond what would be expected to help him (see also: HER BOSS IS BUYING MOM'S HOUSE, thereby helping mom who is in a nursing home; and HER BOSS WILL BE RENTING THE HOUSE to our brother).
He thinks he's hit rock bottom. But he hasn't.
I suspect he might be mentally handicapped to the point where he cannot live on his own and cannot handle mundane yet simple tasks like writing checks, bill paying, as well as basic/minimal follow through regarding his divorce.
While I don't wish it to happen, as I know it'd IMMEDIATELY AND NEGATIVELY impact our sister's standing with her boss, but I JUST KNOW in my bones that our brother is not going to pay his rent or his taxes on time. I just know it. And I'll crack that up to our brother being mentally handicapped (or developmentally stunted, due to a lifetime of being coddled, or BOTH).
Also, in light of the whole #MeToo public discussion, it would be interesting for me to witness, and devastating for him to experience, if his daughter mentioned directly (or a friend mentioned indirectly) to a teacher or guidance counselor about feeling uncomfortable being surrounded by sexually objectifying imagery when she visits her father on the weekends. There's a zero tolerance for stuff like this, and teachers and guidance counselors are considered First Responders, and pretty much would have to report this to the authorities. It would be interesting to see how he'd respond to an impromptu home inspection by social workers.
I have spent nearly 17 years wishing the YentaBeast would just go away. And I hope she sticks to her guns and does just that. And takes their kid to Florida to be with her mom. While this is not perfect, as the YentaBeast is a hot mess unto herself, but at least their daughter won't be surrounded by PORN at her mother's or grandmother's house.
Yet, there's this persistent worry we have, that he will cave, and find some way to beg the YentaBeast not to leave. He still communicates with her and tags her on photos on FB. He's in denial. And he thinks he's still in love with her. And despite our sister informing him if he goes back to YentaBeast "that's it," sis will be done with our brother.
I'd be interested to see what happens next--to see who will cave first/next.
Then there's the analysis of these rather intense behaviors, and realizing, "holy shit, that's 100% dad." And seeing how sis spent years taking care of dad, and now mom, and holy crap, taking care of our brother who is truly living a parallel or extended narrative of our father's. The answer to "how did this even happen?" I cannot help but connect the dots back to our parents. My brother truly possesses ALL the negative traits of both of our parents. He's living the "what if dad left mom" scenario that I play out in my head--and what he's going through right now is exactly what dad wanted to avoid, and that's why he did absolutely nothing to extricate himself from his own unhappy marriage.
In the meantime, I've been home from my trip two weeks (as of tomorrow), and I have left two voicemails for mom, of which, I doubt she could fat finger her way through her cell phone buttons and HEAR THAT, YES AUDREY--I CALLED YOU TWICE!" She's left me several voicemails "I haven't heard from you... blah blah blah." When I was away and unable to call or email at will, it was inconvenient, yet, being totally candid here--I could really appreciate NOT continuing in this cycle of telephonic stupidity. Would it be cruel for me to just want her to bork out? I mean, hey, for years she stopped going to other people's homes, then she structured a lifestyle where everyone and everything had to COME TO HER (9-almost-10 years of this), and inconveniently she decided (despite it being an obvious Hobson's Choice) to stay in the nursing home, and has essentially warehoused herself. I have nothing left to give on this topic. I feel guilt as I know I shouldn't wish it, but here we are.
Will he blow his head off and/or take someone else out in the process?
Will he have a fatal heart attack?
Will our sister?
Will he take YentaBeast back?
If he does, will our sister find the fortitude to cut him off completely?
And in the meantime, at Shady Pines, Audrey has been hoarding slices of bread in her dresser, and basically is a human equivalent of a compost heap.
I take no glee in this. And this is craziness. But at least it's not a craziness of my own design. And even that's not enough to placate me. This is all just sad.
