So Monday evening, when no calls were forthcoming, I sent out texts to my sister (who I also sent out an email on Friday pretty much stating the same sentiment), to my brother, my aunt, and my Indian brother from another mother, "Good luck for the new school year." I got a reply from my aunt acknowledging it and stating the school year starts on Weds for her. Brother texted back thanks and that the school year starts Friday for his daughter. Indian brother from another mother texted thanks and school starts Friday for his kids (and acknowledged our anniversary). Yet my sister? Nada. Zip. Zilch. Nothing.
So no acknowledgment from aunt, sister, brother, or mother for my anniversary. If these people were not related to me, I'd naturally shift things into neutral and start phasing them out. They're nothing but takers, chipping away at me, obviously don't value me or act as if they want to be in my life (or me in theirs). So why bother?
And my aunt, who, I suppose on the surface I do get along, has managed to let yet another summer slip by without a visit, a pop in or otherwise. This is the summer she turned 60. I thought for sure there was a big "to do," given it was a milestone birthday ending in "0." Perhaps there WAS a get together and I was excluded. Just like invitations to her Memorial Day, Fourth of July, and Labor Day barbeques haven't been forthcoming for 12 years.
What bothers me I suppose is MY awareness that as you get older, your universe CAN AND DOES get smaller, and it takes a LOT OF WORK for you to maintain homeostasis, and maintain/attract people into your orbit. I see my family fracturing into bits, or burning out like a supernova, getting super bright right before the big black void. The death of my father (whose anniversary is the end of NEXT month) only serves to remind me of the death of my family. Things exploded and burnt the fuck right out after he died. No one has enough give a fuck to even put forth the illusion of family anymore.
End Note: While I finally DID get an email acknowledgment wishing me a happy anniversary from my mother, it was only after I zapped an email three days after the anniversary with the URL to the place where the husband took us out for an anniversary lunch. Still no acknowledgments from anyone else, and my sister has yet to reply to anything. I did manage to text her a link regarding food/herb interactions w/Rx medications, everything has been met with silence. Perhaps I should follow her lead.
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