Insert Witty Title Here

ETA: Formatting fixed at home.

(Forgive the lack of formatting, Blogger doesn't play nice with the IE here at work.) 

Monday was my 12th anniversary with the husband. It went with ZERO acknowledgment from anyone in my family. ANYONE. Whereas, my Indian contingent of in-laws? STELLAR. Mother & father-in-law, BIL, and an aunty and uncle, too. I use little mnemonic devices to remember everyone else's bdays or anniversaries in my family. I've become very petty  (IMHO) and decided that unless/until everyone starts acknowledging OUR birthdays or anniversary, I'm not going to be forthcoming with milestone niceties anymore. 

Our anniversary is on Labor Day. You'd think it'd ensure that it's inextricably enmeshed with the holiday. How can you not remember a wedding of a close family member, especially if it lands on a holiday? My mnemonics I use (if that's even the appropriate word for my technique on remembering dates): 

Brother born on 3/10 (he's the namesake of great-grandfather #1, of the same first name who was born on 3/9; and mom's grandfather was born on 3/8) 
Sister's wedding anniversary: 4/20, who doesn't remember SHIT about 4/20? 
Brother-in-law (sister's husband) born on 5/23, the date of my enlistment in the military nearly 3 decades ago. 
Aunt's bday: 8/15, 4 days shy of my bday. 
Aunt's anniversary: 8/20, the day after my bday 
Aunt's husband's bday: 2/14, Valentine's Day 
Cousin, their daughter, born 9/16 (which is also the date of MY dad's bday, and my dad's grandmother's bday) 
Great aunt's death anniversary: 3/1,which also is my mother's bday. 
How do I remember my husband's bday? 7/21, the day after my deceased former/first mother-in-law. How do I remember all the bdays of my current mother-in-law, father-in-law and brother-in-law? They are all born in July in successive dates. 

See? Doesn't take a brainiac to figure this shit out. Also? There are these fancy assed new fangled gadgets called cell phones, which have calendar functions, which could set up REMINDERS. But I suppose that would warrant enough GIVE A FUCK for them to think, "GEE perhaps I should remember when my eldest daughter, my older sister, my first born niece, etc etc has a bday or anniversary." (Now I know without the formatting, this looks like a full on rage-tirade. Please bear with me.)

I just wish someone in my family would just do a "rage bukkake," unload all their rage, resentment etc onto me, so I can just fade away into the background, fade to black as it were, so that I'm no longer tethered by DNA and familial obligation to remain as distantly connected to these folks, when obviously they don't care about me, yet put the full responsibility or blame on me for the current state of things. 

I really detest them and what our family has become. But more than that, I detest myself for allowing myself to actually GIVE A SHIT, to care, to know HEY THIS IS FUCKED UP. 

End Note: I read and re-read my posts, and I cannot help but feel as if my father is writing these posts through me, as these are the same type of fucked up family dynamics he'd rail about to me in emails (and I know, silently to himself, or perhaps to others, he'd bitch about how he rarely saw me towards the last few years of his life--but I know on one level he knew I was insulating myself from mom. I know in the end I robbed myself of spare moments with my father, but the cost to my sanity truly was a price I wasn't willing to pay.)