Nine months into this, and there's still not much to report.
He's still not divorced, but from what I hear, he's being taken to the cleaners, and defibrillator or not, he has to take a second job in order to keep up with his alimony and child support payments.
He's still half assing his way through paying bills, and well, time will only tell if he ends up getting evicted due to non payment of rent.
On another note, his house finally foreclosed, and he was too obstinate to listen to reason when it came to negotiating a price for "Cash for keys" as the new owners would like to take occupancy ASAP.
Meh.
And Audrey is still... AUDREY. Center of the universe itself. And was actively rude to my niece (her grand-daughter). My niece had her on speaker phone so my brother-in-law heard it all, and no doubt this will mean Audrey sees less and less of her grand-daughter.
Current writing, it's been a year since I bothered to go there. It's depressing, and she makes no attempt to not come off as pathetic and also underwhelmed by my presence--so why bother? Even her sister has backed off too, and is now making trips to see her every other month or so. Eventually no one will go visit her, and of course she'll blame everyone else except HERSELF for the state of things.
And if/when I do finally go there, I'll bring a sub sandwich, which she will devour even if she just finished eating lunch. The sub will be a distraction. And by the time she's done with that sub, I'll be out of there. And even so, she'd find some fault with the sub, to which I'd dispense a passive-aggressive "YOU'RE WELCOME" while sporting my bitchy resting face.
Nothing is ever good enough--so why bother, right?
And some NEW fuckery has been brought to light.
For the last year, I've sensed a weirdness, an alienation of sorts from my aunt (mom's sis). I had no idea what's going on, and of course, a characteristic of that side of the family is to be oblique and passive-aggressive.
Turns out, for the last year, she has told I DO NOT KNOW HOW MANY PEOPLE (besides my sister and my niece) that:
1. She has a spreadsheet of who gave what ($$$) to my cousin's wedding in July 2017;
2. She has me listed on that spreadsheet as giving $50--not the $150 in cash I tucked inside the wedding card; and
3. She has told others how I make time for my cousin David and not for my mother (or my aunt).
Mind you, this is not a one-off kind of scenario. 15+ years ago, my cousin KewpieDoll did some fuckery spreading lies to her mother, which then caused a rift, which tho repaired, the relationship was never the same after. My aunt even said she knows what a liar her daughter is. And, I am sad to say, I suspect KewpieDoll is at it again.
So, I sat and marinated in that knowledge for a full week, and in a fit of an anxiety attack, I decided to text my aunt the following:
FYI:
1. I put $150 cash in KewpieDoll's wedding card;
2. I have not seen anyone--you or David--since Aunt Sandy's wake in October; and
3. I am 50. An adult. The frequency of my visits to my mother are none of your business.
The solitary reply I got back was:
"Message received."
I went one step further and said:
I will no longer be shamed nor manipulate by my mother or anyone. Whatever monster you or anyone else might think of me does not change my reality.
Of course, no further reply from her was forthcoming.
And since my birthday was coming up, I decided I to block my aunt on my phone, so as to avoid her using my birthday as an impetus for contact, to prevent my aunt from "weaponizing" my birthday.
So my birthday came and went and my sister asked if I heard from our aunt. And I said no, why? And apparently, my aunt was going to text me for my birthday. I said to my sister that I blocked her on my phone, that I refuse to allow her to raise my blood pressure any further, and if she wishes to communicate with me, she can do so via my email.
My birthday was on the 19th. It's now 8 days later. No email has been forthcoming.
Between the innate passive-aggressive fuckery on that side of the family as well as what I will deem "Trump Derangement/Delusion Syndrome" that 99% of my extended family is participating in, it's really radically winnowed the familial herd.
It takes more than a few strands of DNA to make a family. Family are people who WANT to be involved in your life. Family are people who care about YOU above and beyond politics or religion. DNA doesn't equate to love or understanding or even respect for that matter.
Additionally, if my aunt has known all along what a manipulator my mother is and she didn't make it her business to intervene on behalf of me and my siblings for the countless indignities and abuses we suffered as children; then what I do or don't do NOW is none of her business as well.
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