So, I made my obligatory holiday call. And her phone is still apparently, shitting the bed. So I cannot even leave a voicemail. And the angst brews further, as I just want to get it out of the way. I don't even want to call, and why the fuck should I even care? Having a conscience (at times like this) is truly an over-rated thing.
Well I called. And can't leave a message, so that registers as a NO CALL in her book. Doesn't matter the phone doesn't work, and isn't important enough to fix. And I could leave an email--but who knows if she's reading her emails, as it wasn't important enough to her to let me know she finally got her laptop fixed or replaced.
It's been 13 days since I visited her, and a week since the big Family Holiday Fuckfest and no call to give me the details. ANd that's okay. She's obviously avoiding me for a reason and if only I knew what that reason was, I'd be giving her the same treatment I am giving my sister--which if you remember was all at her insistence.
The visit destroyed me. I'm not in a holiday mood. We were invited to a dear friend's house for Christmas day. I don't have it in me to go, and it's too late to bail out politely. Perhaps I'll feel differently after showering. Perhaps. I feel truly empty.
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