I Don't Want Her, You Can Have Her

Fat aside... seriously, you can have her.

I had a conversation yesterday with a friend regarding how mom obviously "went to the light, then waffled, and decided to come back to the here and now." Friend said, "Yeah, she wasn't finished fucking with you." And we both had a good chuckle over the visual of Saint Peter turning her away at the gate, "Not on my watch. Not now. No how! Go!" Heaven won't take her and Satan's out on a coffee break, so here she remains in the interim.

Every time I see in the news a celebrity dies, or a friend endures a health issue, or a friend's family member passes, I think to myself, "Why couldn't *SHE* "go" or endure those things instead of these nice people? Why can't those friends have a wee bit more time with their loved one, have more quality time? Their time is cut short, and yet here she is, miserable yet happily spreading her misery to all who happen to be near?" I fail to see the cosmic or karmic justice in that. She's so miserable she just wants to die... and then DOES NOT. She doesn't make even remotely regular deposits into the bank account of good will, yet continually and habitually overdraws that account; yet there are other folks who are good and decent and kind and loving, and yet? They are the ones getting the shaft.

All life is suffering, I understand that.One cannot compare their suffering or pain to the pain of others, or dismiss our own pain comparing it to the suffering of others. Pain is pain. Suffering is suffering. Burdens are burdens. And to each person, our pain, suffering, and burdens remain just that: OURS, and ours alone. We can sympathize and empathize, and we can think we know the pain, suffering, and burdens of others, but really we can only truly (and, yes, MERCIFULLY) live and experience our own.  

Empathizing and sympathizing with our loved ones who are enduring their own pain, suffering and burdens is good for perspective, perhaps helping us not become entirely consumed by our own pain, suffering and burdens. I guess some folks either expect that perspective to diminish or even eliminate our own awareness of our own pain, suffering and burdens, or perhaps some other folks try to guilt or shame us for daring to claim ownership of pain, suffering or burdens when (obviously) others have it worse off than we do.