22 Days since the last time I called mom. And of course the last time I called, it played out exactly as my half-assed flow chart:
I call, and she rushes me off the phone, then calls me back thinking I have all the time in the world for this nonsense.
Problems arise of course when she catches me off guard, and I have to make an excuse not to be available for a time when it is more convenient for her. In this case, I blurted out I was taking M to urgent care--note: urgent care to me is not the same thing as going to an Emergency Room at a hospital--urgent care is a walk in clinic.
Problems compound themselves because she then gets her sister involved in running interference/meddling because I haven't called mom back regarding M's situation which was not life or death. He had pink eye.
So this caused me to put my aunt in her place YET AGAIN, and let her know that her meddling is not welcome, and if she wants to reach out to me to talk to ME, that's great. But if she wants to reach out to me to meddle between me and my mother, then I'd just assume receive nothing but silence from her.
What IS evident to me is one of two scenarios: Either she does not realize what she is doing is unwelcome or meddling; Or, she knows exactly what she's doing and doesn't give a shit about me and my feelings. In either scenario, I have neither the time nor energy to expend on making others feel more comfortable when it's clear by their actions (both, mom's and my aunt's) that they don't give a shit about MY feelings. Neither of them are adding anything loving or supportive to my life, and the more either of them push, the more I am digging my heels in and resisting.
Anyway, it's been 22 days, and in that time she called me back moments later, then called me back two weeks later, then again two days ago, and YET AGAIN yesterday. And to all this, I say SO WHAT?
The telephone calls, the excessive ones to me, as well as the call she made to my aunt to get involved, were not about expressing concern about M's health--because let's face it, they couldn't care less about him (or me, for that matter), but it's all about control and access and manipulation.
Problems arise of course when she catches me off guard, and I have to make an excuse not to be available for a time when it is more convenient for her. In this case, I blurted out I was taking M to urgent care--note: urgent care to me is not the same thing as going to an Emergency Room at a hospital--urgent care is a walk in clinic.
Problems compound themselves because she then gets her sister involved in running interference/meddling because I haven't called mom back regarding M's situation which was not life or death. He had pink eye.
So this caused me to put my aunt in her place YET AGAIN, and let her know that her meddling is not welcome, and if she wants to reach out to me to talk to ME, that's great. But if she wants to reach out to me to meddle between me and my mother, then I'd just assume receive nothing but silence from her.
What IS evident to me is one of two scenarios: Either she does not realize what she is doing is unwelcome or meddling; Or, she knows exactly what she's doing and doesn't give a shit about me and my feelings. In either scenario, I have neither the time nor energy to expend on making others feel more comfortable when it's clear by their actions (both, mom's and my aunt's) that they don't give a shit about MY feelings. Neither of them are adding anything loving or supportive to my life, and the more either of them push, the more I am digging my heels in and resisting.
Anyway, it's been 22 days, and in that time she called me back moments later, then called me back two weeks later, then again two days ago, and YET AGAIN yesterday. And to all this, I say SO WHAT?
The telephone calls, the excessive ones to me, as well as the call she made to my aunt to get involved, were not about expressing concern about M's health--because let's face it, they couldn't care less about him (or me, for that matter), but it's all about control and access and manipulation.
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