Cliffnotes:
This coming Wednesday is my sister's wedding anniversary. We're still not talking (haven't spoken since roughly December 17, 2014). I'm still abiding her, "I don't think we should speak." Audrey claims she regrets things, yet, how much could she regret it? It was her own doing!
Anyway. Wednesday. I was debating with myself about zapping a text "Happy Anniversary" (and yes, sans exclamation points or emojis), pretty much dropping it like the proverbial turd in the punch bowl and see what happens.
Wednesday is also my next session with my therapist. So it could have been the day's topic.
But then again, why should I bother texting her at all? Even before The Great Silence, she never bothered to zap such texts TO ME, or to bother to learn my husband's birthday etc.
This has me analyzing my intentions regarding wanting to send the text. No good can come from this, to be honest. The silence is a big negative, but it's a neutral-ish, INACTIVE negative. It's a constant state; whereas texting could potentially open me up to even more ACTIVE suffering.
Wanting to be the "bigger person" involves a bit of pride, and a healthy dose of either hope or stupidity too--kind of like stepping on a hornet barefoot and thinking you can control the hornet, when there's obviously at least one more chance the hornet can hurt you.
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