On Being an Adult

So. Rather than sit and analyze this further, or feel compelled to avoid the front desk during my lunch hour, I figured I owed it to myself to articulate what needed articulating. 

This a.m., while heading down to the lower level to drop off mail, I swung by the front desk where Jean was, and I initiated (what I hope will be) the final discussion on yesterday's topic. And given this is right before the lunchtime rush of people, this was the ideal time to do so. No interruptions, no one else around so hopefully it will minimize whatever embarrassment he may have during this conversation.

I reaffirmed that I am a deep thinker, and I could not stop thinking about yesterday's topic, especially given he's brought it up in the past before, several times.

I reaffirmed that I am a very good judge of character, and I am going to crack all of this up to "the culture gap."

I stated the obvious, that there is no type of indoctrination for foreigners who come here, to learn the finer points, or nuances, of being polite. Little things like hygiene for some, or finding out about what might be inappropriate behaviors for others.

Directly, and as non-condescending as I could, I started with, "a little friendly advice," and I told him that most businesses have a zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment. The mere question of a sexual nature, even if it's asked out of innocent enough curiosity, could constitute harassment. To ask this to any female in the workplace, even if it's "just making conversation," if that female feels threatened, it could constitute harassment. If, after I've asked him not to ask me this again, he asks it again, that counts as harassment.

He asked me if I thought there was more to the asking than superficial asking. And I replied, "Of course. It could be one of three scenarios: 1. You're trying to see if I'm inclined to cheat; 2. Your wife cheated on you and you're trying to figure out why she cheated; or 3. You've got a guilty conscience because YOU cheated. In any of these scenarios, I AM NOT INTERESTED."

At this point he said he was very sorry for offending me. And I thanked him for his apology.

I informed him that these are the types of questions to ask close friends, and while I am flattered that he either thinks we are that close or that he is that comfortable asking such things of me, we are not close friends. 

In the mix somewhere, I mentioned that I am a happily married, contented person. Somewhere in the mix. I didn't conclude with that.

Hopefully this will be the end of this nonsense with him.