As the lilacs started to bloom, I thought to myself of how they always are in full bloom and most aromatic by Mother's Day.
We have a family story--one I won't share. It's very specific; however, I always think upon lilacs and mothers day as a result of that story.
I meditated, but not upon the outcome, but of an end of her suffering. Whether that meant she lives and finally gets the care she needs, or her physical body dies and she's released from the prison her body had become.
Ever since this great silence with mom started, I wondered if I'd know an answer of how this all sorts itself out by Mother's Day. Should I send a card? What if she wakes up and there's no card? I held off a bit. As of this time, I still had the three spare cards I bought a couple years back, as I always found Mother's Day cards to be the most complicated cards to buy as I never wanted to perpetuate her delusions of what kind of mother she was, yet, I still wanted to send a card. Like I said, complicated.
The lilacs were beautiful this year.
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