I'd be remiss if I didn't make note of what transpired on Thanksgiving this year.
No. I did not go to my extended family fuckfest; so everything I'm going to share is second hand.
The cliffnotes is that my aunt worked like a servant while my sister and sister-in-law both sat on their asses and did nothing.
My sister was overheard saying, "If aunt wants to be the boss of Thanksgiving, let her." And she proceeded to sit and leisurely eat cheese and crackers, photographing them and facebooking it.
My sister-in-law (aka the YentaBeast) was overheard saying "I sit over here (far wall) so no one expects me to get up and help."
So yeah. Good times. Mom can't walk so she can't carry heavy trays of hot lasagne into the dining room. And my aunt has (knee) issues of her own, and yet, she's worked like a servant, while everyone sat on their asses.
My aunt then decided (I honestly don't know why) to make a video clip, panning the room, "Let's wish Maven a happy thanksgiving!" Very few people faced the camera, no one smiled, and no one wished me a happy thanksgiving. Which is fine. As my aunt panned my sister-in-law, the YentaBeast, crossed her arms and turned away (so jury is out on whether YB did this to avoid being recorded due to her facial disfigurement due to the NF; or if she was shunning my aunt, or was shunning ME). Meanwhile, my sister sat there with her arms crossed over her chest, staring dead-eyed ahead.
WHY my aunt chose to share this with me? I haven't a clue. It was so full of ambivalence, and had all of the festivity of a post-funeral repast. And pretty much summed up and validated why I no longer go to these things. I mean, if you're not going to be happy or thankful or even remotely in a holiday mood, why bother?
The moment my sister and my sister-in-law* left, my aunt broke down in tears right there at the dining table.
*Odd alliance they now have, as my sister does not like my sister-in-law. And it's getting to the point now where you need a score card to find out who is on my sister's shit list. Two years ago when mom was hospitalized, my sister restricted YentaBeast's access at the hospital to see mom. So to see them now somewhat aligned with each other is par for the course, and again, I'm glad not to be dealing with either of them.
Bottom line: After experiencing my sister's cruelty directly, my aunt won't be attending next year's Thanksgiving. Or at least that is what she says NOW. Let's wait and see if she fulfills on that statement a year from now.
*************************************
So. The stalker.
Yes. It's been pretty quiet regarding the Stalker. As of September 22nd, I've been ignoring him for two years and three months (minus 1 day). I've been ignoring him for much longer (perhaps 3x as much time) as I spent cultivating that unfortunate friendship.
As I work in a high rise, there are many people I come in contact with from other offices. People I know either just by face, and some I know by first name. In this case, this one guy, Robert, I know in the course of schmoozing. And well, now I no longer linger at the front desk to schmooze with the Stalker nor his flying monkey, Jean, aka "The Haitian Dude."
So last week I ran into Robert on a street corner and he walked with me back to the building. And he asked about how or why I no longer schmooze with Jean. And I said how I've been ignoring the Stalker for years, and I've had to cut Jean out entirely because even though I have stated, very firmly in very direct terms that I no longer wish to speak of the Stalker, Jean INSISTS on working him in conversation. And I've had to throw the baby out with the bath water. That to fully shut the Stalker down, I've had to circumvent talking to Jean.
So yesterday, I happened upon the same street corner, and Robert was there again. And we walked to the office as is our norm. He asked about how or why I was no longer speaking to The Stalker. And I gave him a synopsis, but by no means did I elaborate too deeply, but did manage to say "He's a sociopath, and he's been stalking me, and he talks shit about everyone, PLUS, he's a brown-on-brown racist." Robert looked at me and validated every last word and then added his two cents, "The stalker is perhaps EVEN WORSE than what you think."
I then asked Robert, "Since I obviously can't ask Jean, I've noticed the Stalker has been absent from the front desk--could I be so lucky? Did he quit or was he fired?" And turns out neither is the case. The Stalker is out on medical leave for a surgery to fix what was botched over two years ago--during the surgery (after which I visited him in the hospital, and seems to be the tipping point regarding the "familiarity breeds contempt").
It shouldn't matter all that much to me what Robert said, but it DID mean a lot. It validated my experience. It validated my judgment in dumping him out of my circle of influence. A man validating me. Saying, "Yes, you were right. You were victimized. Yes. He is a monster." And ultimately, validating that little niggling thought or worry, that I might have just imagined it all--and I haven't.
No comments:
Post a Comment